Gotta take a little time...

(I will try to be back as soon as I can. Meanwhile, I'm leaving you with this song. Most part of it speaks of how I feel)

I want to know what love is
(by Foreigner)

I gotta take a little time, a little time to think things over
I better read between the lines, in case I need it when I’m older
Now this mountain I must climb, feels like the world upon my shoulders
Through the clouds I see love shine, it keeps me warm as life grows colder
In my life there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far, to change this lonely life
I want to know what love is, I want you to show me
I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me
I’m gonna take a little time, a little time to look around me
I’ve got nowhere left to hide, it looks like love has finally found me
In my life there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far, to change this lonely life
I want to know what love is, I want you to show me
I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me
I want to know what love is, I want you to show me
(And I wanna feel) I want to feel what love is
(And I know) I know you can show me
Let’s talk about love – I want to know what love is
The love that you feel inside – I want you to show me
And I’m feeling so much love – I want to feel what love is
No, you just can’t hide – I know you can show me
I want to know what love is (let’s talk about love), I know you can show me
I wanna feel it too – I want to feel what love is
I wanna feel it too, and I know and I know – I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah – I want to know what love is

Sacrifice

Queen takes pawn
Pawn takes Queen
Knight takes pawn, and Checkmate!

I learn to play chess at the age of six and I used to frequent our local barber shop where my father also used to hang around and also play the game. It is not hard for me to learn the game and the more I watched, the more I understand how to win games. I also started to learn how to make a "sacrifice" and usually in this game, those who are doing it seems to be having an exhibition and it also makes the game more exciting. That's how I understand sacrifice then, as simple as exchanging major pieces with minor pieces or giving up as many pieces in order to achieve your goal: to checkmate the King, or sometimes only just to have enough compensation and gain slight advantage in exchange for the lost pieces.

At age 20, this was the time I first experienced to be "sacrificed". One of my mother's co-workers announced that there is an opening for work in Saudi Arabia. As we are having financially difficulties then, my mother talked to me and that means I have to stop studying and take this job to help the family. Let me just tell here that I did not feel being "sacrificed" then. I was willing and feel very excited about it, but I have to admit that I also feel sad and worried for being away for the first time and did not know yet what it feels like living in another country. It was quite a mixed feeling.

But I did not really find it hard at first as there were also many Filipinos that welcomed me here and they were very supportive and friendly. Besides, at that time we were always busy and there's a lot of overtime work. It was really a very wonderful feeling when I first sent my first salary back home. My first homesick started only after I first make a LD phone call since I was able to talk to every member of the family. But because of the compensation I tried to tell myself that I can and I have to stand it.

Years and years past and now I already have my own family and I am still here. I just thought that this is the life chosen for me. I don't see myself to have any success if I try my luck back home yet. I still have to make a "sacrifice" and as long as we are still allowed to work here I will have to bear it for my family.